Tuesday, November 23, 2010
i dont really care if i look like a tourist anymore. its -8 degrees and i have to wrap myself like a eskimosnowmancabbage. i'm going to school alone when the sky is dark, when the temperature falls even lower, and when everybody returns back home from school. what a hearty scene.
yesterday in class, it was so cute seeing everybody strolling in with a red nose because of the cold. heehee.
my piano teacher shared a little with me about jesus today. After coming here, I realise why the idea of god appealed so much to someone who is in times of need. the idea of somebody guiding you, the idea of putting all your troubles & burden onto somebody, the idea that everything happen for a purpose, the idea that everything turns out the way it does because its planned by somebody who loves you, the idea that everything will be okay.
the frustration i experienced dealing with various things in the new environment deepened my need of having someone to take the load off me. at the times when frustration hits, i'm torn apart- i think that i should be contented and stop complaining because my life is so much better than other people. other times, I feel so blessed as if i were the most fortunate girl in the world.
I know the model answers, but I am just expressing my feelings now.
the truth is always ugly and less appealing, and people don't like that. the truth that you have to depend on yourself makes you feel more helpless, more uncertain. that is why people prefer to have a father figure to make them feel better with a sense of security. I want that feeling too.
.
10:50 PM
